I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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