I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
