the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She announced her abortion via fbk
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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