There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm bleeding and have questions
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
