Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
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