In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
