Just mADE A PArabola og urine
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
So many bounce houses so little time
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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