no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
cat food counts as protein by the way
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
