Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
