I heard we made out
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
