I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
