he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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