That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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