Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
