I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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