oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize