I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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