There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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