That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
