i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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