Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
