this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
