We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
