I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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