I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
