I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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