I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she looked like the before picture.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
