I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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