I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
