Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
