They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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