Christians are straight up FREAKS
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He shit in the fireplace
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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