Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
