I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
