): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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