For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
