yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
