I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
His nipple licking is glorious
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