there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
