Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
