do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize