You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
