No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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