My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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