It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
