You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
