I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
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