I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
