he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Can vaginas get frostbite?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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