What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
