What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
