i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
