He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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