did you get engaged???
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
