My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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