Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize