So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I just googled if crying burns calories
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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