i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
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Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
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Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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