He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
