Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
